Garden Bloopers

Just to dispel the myth that I am Green Goddess of the Garden:
This is the DEAD Dragon's Paw right outside my front door.
And this was the replacement for the first Dragon's Paw I killed in the same pot a few months earlier.

I'm not gonna put a third Dragon's Paw in this pot. I'm pretty sure this poison pot has a drainage issue or the soil is unhealthy. I'll dump it out and refill with rocks and cactus.

They'll look cool in this concrete container.

Until they die.


So...remember the lush, fragrant gardenia hedge I planted with visions of sugarplums dancing in my head a few weeks back?
Yeah. Here it is today. Not just ONE dead gardenia plant. Three.
(left of the stepping stones)

Epic fail. I paid a pretty penny for three very healthy and glossy gardenias. Not gonna do that again.

I think the soil needs some preparation first. I didn't loosen or amend it at all. Just removed the sad iris patch, dug holes a little bigger than the pots and plopped in the gardenia. I know the dead plants look dry and crispy, but it is not from lack of water. 

Poor drainage or poison soil is what I'm blaming, but are you starting to sense some lazy gardening techniques here? A gardener with a lack of attention to detail? Weak commitment to doing the hard, slow work of building a proper foundation for a healthy, lasting landscape?

I can have pretty plants for a price, but instant gratification is starting to bust my budget.


Hey! This third photo looks beautiful. What could possibly be the blooper here?
Well, the zucchini in the foreground is producing, but the tomato forest is a huge disappointment. Only one plant is setting any fruit. A couple of green marbles and lots of withered blossoms is about the size of it. So much for my pantry full of tomato sauce.

Again, we spent some moola building these raised beds, figuring they are well worth the investment when amortized over five or ten years. But we also figured we'd get mountains of tomatoes every summer. Mountains of zucchini were not the return on investment we had in mind, really.

They say gardening is cheaper than therapy...and you get TOMATOES! But they lie. Sometimes you just get tomato plants.

I don't think we'll struggle with the tomato box a whole lot longer. Maybe a few more weeks and then pull them to put in the fall veggies.

There's always next season.

I'm not giving up. Just keepin' it real.

If you imagined me as Green Goddess of the Garden (oh. you didn't? I'm the only one who imagined that? well...), please revise your image to regular old garden variety Blooper.

In overalls.

I do look fetching in overalls.

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