My father died August 9. 

Sudden illness.

We were not prepared.

I am bereaved. 

Suffering the death of someone I love.
The experience is not simply sadness. It encompasses grief, but I have grieved other losses in my life and this is beyond that.

I am tired. Not tired of the kindness of others. Not tired of remembering him. Just unable to feel light right now. 

I'm confident I will accept my father's death and rejoin the human circus in a while. I will spend time with small children and animal companions who show us how to live completely in the moment. I feel loved. 

But right now I am doing what the bereaved do.

I am faking it until I make it. Going through ordinary motions of my daily life, speaking the lines I would ordinarily speak, and feeling thoroughly and completely unnatural. 

Forgive my awkwardness for a bit.

I am bereaved.


  1. Amen.

    Love you Mom.

    Thanks for calling today. I was out of sorts too and your call perked me up for a bit.

    Love you LOTS.

  2. So sorry for you. Hope you are happy again soon. My mom was sick for years and it was still hard to lose her.

  3. I am sorry for your loss, Julie. Also, I am sorry I have not been able to be there for you to provide any comfort. It's not any good excuse on my part but the last two years have been extremely difficult for me health-wise. I love you and I hope you are doing okay.